Sunday, March 21, 2010

Naughty but Nice

Naughty but nice and all things spice…don’t deny it, you have a naughty streak in you which is just dying to show its face from time to time.

But what holds us back? Is it our own self-conscious or is society dictating to us, making us hide that fun, adventurous and sometimes flirty side? In a previous blog I alluded to the fact that we fear putting ourselves out there, we fear rejection and we fear failing at something.

Is social media the answer to overcoming our fear of putting ourselves out there, for being braver and maybe just a bit flirtier than what we are accustomed to being?

Lately we find more and more people are using social media not only for business purposes, but for meeting new people in a seemingly save environment. Although you have your profile picture and name on your home page you still feel that safety of being anonymous.

When that anonymous feeling kicks in we find ourselves being more brave than when meeting new people face-to-face, we share more of ourselves and we indulge in that flirting side we so often hide from the world out there.

The question now is, why can’t we adapt that secure, anonymous feeling to stay with us when meeting people in the flesh? Why can’t we just embrace that brave “me” and forget to assess every word before speaking or every action before doing?

I’ve recently met a new friend who does not reside in South Africa, but was visiting a mutual friend of ours. Since then we have formed a close friendship and have continued this friendship even after their departure. We’ve been communicating daily via Google Talk, SMS and Facebook and the friendship has just kept growing.

It amazes me how fast we have come to know each other, how we have picked up on traits or habits the other has. The online chatting has just extended what we already knew about each other from their visit to Cape Town. I find myself looking forward to our chats, to sharing something brave I accomplished that day, or voicing my thoughts, my shortcomings and my fears, knowing that I’m in a safe environment where I have a trusting and caring friend on the other side of the phone, someone I know but don’t have to face.

Don’t get me wrong, I would prefer spending time with that friend here in Cape Town where I can experience touch and facial expressions, but I know I’ll loose that bravery that makes me share more than I usually would. Social Media has allowed us to get to know one another more intimately and honestly and I’m sure our next visit will be a more meaningful experience as we have grown in our friendship.

I’m still very much in favour of real-life friendships and relationships, but today social media just helps us break that ice…gets the ball rolling on what could be a wonderful relationship.


  1. In many ways social media replaces the old fashioned - and now extinct - practice of letter writing. Of course it is faster and sometimes immediate but in an instant gratification world, what else would one expect.

  2. I agree that we allow ourselves the freedom to be brave. The question is this - do you feel that online communication is real and sincere? Often we hear the bad perception that online dating has of the person not being his/her true self...showing only what he/she wants you to see. I suppose that is dependent on the people that are communicating or their purpose for communication.