Sunday, October 31, 2010

Conversations...why we have them...

Our days are filled with conversations, those we have in the privacy of our minds as well as the ones we have in public. These use to be traditional such as conversations with colleagues, family and friends, but recently these conversations have bridged to IM Messenges, Skype, Facebook and other social media communication channels.
But why do we have these conversations? I believe it's our way of constantly reminding ourselves that we are not alone, that there is someone on the other side of the line listening to what we are saying and then responding. It is our way of getting acknowledgement of what we believe, feel or think. We determine our opinions based on what we have heard during conversations we have had. Conversations keep us connected and we determine to what or whom we are connected by deciding on which communication tools or channels to make use of.

Converstations are at the foundation of each and every day, its who we are, what we are and how we communicate our wants and desires to those around us.

If no one was watching...

I'd push play, wait for the music to start resonating in my heart, pumping the beat through my veins until my limbs developed a mind of their own. I'd dance as if no one was watching, as if Juliard was begging me to join their company!

I'd forget about the eyes staring, the soft whispers behind covering hands and just let go. I'd dance as if the world depended on it for their salvation, until my body could no longer pick itself up off the floor from exhaustion and then I'd dance some more.
I would invent my own moves, make my body move in ways it has never moved before and I would delight in every moment I could. I would get lost in the music as it transforms and releases me from my worries and burdens.

the LIST we all keep for a rainy day

None of us know for how long we will be on this earth, but we are all on borrowed time. As we grow older we add things to an invisible list we carry around in our heads, a list of things we would like to do when we get older, when we have time, when we can afford it or when we have someone to share it with. Many people never get to complete the things on their list because we get too caught up in the rat race called life.

When asked to write my bucket list I had to take some time to think about it, to remember the items I have added over time. Once I got going they all just seemed to flow onto the page...

- Do an Advanced Driving course in a sports / formula one vehicle
- Take Ballroom / Modern Dancing classes with my husband
- To climb Table Mountain
- Get to do my first flight / business trip - COMPLETED!
- Visit Disney Land and experience being a child again
- Get to ride on an elephant
- Learn to eat Vegetables again - TRYING!
- Learn the art of Archery - COMPLETED!
- Visit Rome and see the Colisseum
- Pick Cherries at Christmas time - COMPLETED!
- Do a Scuba Diving course and go snorkeling off a tropical beach
- Plan an overseas backpacking trip with friends or a loved one
- Visit Alaska where the sun never sets for 6 months of the year
- Complete my collection of Disney DVD's - ON TRACK!
- Organise my first solo, major event - COMPLETED!
- Meeting my life partner, my best friend and starting our own family
- Do a motorcycle trip, exploring South Africa with only a tent, minimul clothing, camera and toothbrush
- Complete my Peter Rabbit book collection by Beatrix Potter
- Volunteering at a natural disaster i.e. hurricane, tsunami, fire etc
- See an Olympic event such as the Diving, Syncronised swimming etc.
- Swim with Dolphins
- See the Northern Lights
- Enjoy a scenic Microlight flight
- Experience Weightlessness
- See a NBA Basketball game live
- See my favourite artists live in concert - ON TRACK: Seen Celine Dion, Daughtry & Il Divo, Riverdance is up next
- Play Action Cricket and/or Netbal - COMPLETED!
- Forgiving those who have hurt me - ON TRACK!
- Ride a Gondola in Venice
- Do the Disciples Cruise
- See the Pyramids in Egypt
- Watch Turtles hatch and make their way to the ocean
- Learn to Salsa Dance - COMPLETED!
- To learn to love running and complete a 10km race
- Wanted to meet Princes Diana, settled for meeting Prince Harry & Prince William - COMPLETED
- Learn to eat healthy, stay healthy - WORKING ON IT!
- Learn to play golf
- Enjoy my first Helicopter flip over beautiful country - COMPLETED!
- Learn to flyfish - COMPLETED!
- Learn to ski on a visit to Switzerland
- Learn to speak a foreign language
- Go White Water Rafting
- Enjoy a Hot Air Balloon ride over the Serengeti
- Have a snowball fight with friends - COMPLETED!

Making this list I realised how many items I had stored in my head of things I'd like to do before I die. I'm sure this list will grow as I discover new things I'd like to learn, experience or see.
I've made a good start to the list and I'm newly inspired to continue working through my list as I complete my dreams!

Ruin is the road to transformation

When life gets tough and I mean really tough. When all I want to do is crawl up into a ball and hide from the world, when I just can't face getting up and out of bed, when the only thing I feel is loneliness even when I'm surrounded by many people.
That's when life is at its worse and I struggle to pull myself out of that deep, dark hole, and believe me I've had to do it too many times to count. I didn't have it easy growing up, blamed the small town I grew up in with its narrow minded communities, I blamed it on being English in an Afrikaans school, oh yes I found loads of excuses and lots of wrong things but I never found answers to solutions. I just survived, just went through the motions and finally it was time to leave that small town and spread my wings.

I headed towards the city where I thought I would find instant happiness, and oh yes I did find some of that happiness but it was short lived as life threw new obstacles my way. Again I learnt to survive and just get by, I picked myself up, rebuilt what was broken and moved on. Never fully dealing with the root of what was wrong.

The loneliness got to me, fuelled by my insecurities and what I thought were shortcomings. What I failed to see was the good in me, the "gifts" I brought to the table. I forgot to believe in myself as a person.

Oh I knew I could achieve what I set out to do, reach my goals but when it came down to the route of who I was inside I didn't know who that was and therefore I didn't like what I saw. All I saw was failure and anger when instead I should have seen my own worth. How could I ever have expected others to see my value when I kept it hidden and when I had lost faith in myself?

I have had to cut my losses, say many goodbyes, deal with a lot of hurt and dissapointment during my 26 years here on earth. But my biggest hurt and dissapointment was in myself with myself...for not feeling worthy!

I had to be "ruined" before I took the road to transformation and it has been a rocky road but one that I am extremely grateful to as it has taught me some valuable lessons and has made me the strong person I am today!

I look at challenges differently, I see them as opportunities to test myself, learn a few new things, to shape and develop my character and even meet people who would compliment my life. My past is what brought me to my future and my future is bright.

Ruin is the road to transformation when you accept the journey.

My Big Fat Dream

This dream is under construction, I apologise for any inconvenience caused. I am currently working on restructuring my Big Fat Dream.

Thank you for your patience regarding this matter, updates will be posted shortly.

Hard Work Made Fun

I have a passion for events, truly enjoy my occupation as I create various scenarios to create awareness and raise much needed funding for the Red Cross War Memorial Children's Hospital.

Those of you who are or have worked in the events industry know that events aren't glamorous but it's hard work, dirty work and often you don't get to event attend or enjoy the event. This is okay with me as my favourite part of events is the conceptualisation and next is the setting up; seeing how a venue can change into your vision, how everything comes together to paint a picture. The hard work doesn't even register as you enjoy a good workout, feeling the accomplishment of making your visualization become a reality.

Working for a charity our budgets are limited so there is no such luxury as hiring additional staff to assist with setting up or the break down, however I have been fortunate with a few colleagues who pull more than their weight as well as a few friends who are working in the same industry who volunteer their time to assist me.

We work as a well oiled machine, having found a "unique" manner in which we prefer to deal with the tired feet, sore bodies and heavy eyelids late at night, once all the guests have left the event and you are left with the clean-up...
It helps that we all are vibrant, quirky individuals who like to make a "fool" of ourselves as we unwind together. But like they say, a picture speaks a thousand words, and these spoke of a thousand laughs.

The lesson learnt here is that hard work can be made fun if you stop complaining, make it interesting, create a game and get the work done.

Chasing Two Rabbits

You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time but you sure can learn to multitask to enhance your performance. It's not the difficult taks we all make it out to be, but it can be a very useful tool to have in your pocket to just give you that extra bit of edge.

Chasing two rabbits is tiring, a waste of your time and energy and won't yield any spectacular results. If you aren't any good at chasing two rabbits simultaneously; start by chasing just one and once caught attempt to catch the second. This way you are able to give each rabbit your full attention, doing the job effectively, reserving additional energy and working smartly.