Monday, August 30, 2010

What are your deal breakers?

We all find ourselves in various relationships; friends, family and partners…but what are the deal breakers in your relationships?

We can’t choose our family, but we CAN choose the people we call our friends and partners. We tolerate a lot from the people closest to us as we fully realize that everyone has their own set of faults. But what are the deal breakers we will not accept, that will push us away and end these relationships?

For me there are a few that I will not budge on and they include some of the following:

FAITH – I want a partner that shares the same faith as I do, who is confident in what they believe and what the Bible tells us. I want someone who will support me in my faith, encourage and stand by me as I grow. I want a partner that will not back down when the “right road” gets tough, who will turn to faith and me to get us through the hardship, obstacles and trials. Someone who will celebrate the blessing we receive because of our faith.

FAMILY – My life partner would need to love my family with all their quirks, faults and good qualities just as he would love his own family. My family needs to become his family and he needs to know and feel as if he is a son and not a son-in-law in my family. My family needs to accept him as one of our own, need to embrace him as a son and come to love him as much as I do. I want a partner who wants to have a family with me, and I want to know that my partner will always put us and our needs first, that we will be important and at the centre of his life.

TRUST & HONESTY – To date I have been lied to, manipulated, played and hurt, just as many other people have been. Because of human nature and past experience I haven’t allowed anyone close to me, therefore trust and honesty are two of the core fundamentals I need in a partner before I will give myself completely. I need to know I am safe to be who I am, safe with my partner and that at all times, no matter how hard we be honest with one another. With this comes the reversed trust that my partner will find in me; that I promise to accept and receive the honesty in a manner that invites him to be honest without fear of me reacting negatively. Trust and honesty are a two way street and one I have prided myself in.

ANIMALS – My pets are my family, my children and they get treated as such. My partner will need to share that same love of animals, accept that the dogs will sleep inside, they will be part of the family and that they are important to me.

LOVE – I want to be loved, loved for who I am and accepted with all my negative and positive attributes. I want to be loved without a partner changing me into who I am not. I want to be loved unconditionally and I want to be able to see it in his eyes when he looks at me, I want to hear it in his voice when he talks to me (or about me) and I want to feel his love in his embrace. I want to know I have found my other half and that I will never be half again.

AMBITION – I’m a woman with loads of ambition but it has a flaw, I tend to want to run before I can crawl. I want a husband that will support my ambition without resentment and will encourage me every step of the way. Similarly I want a husband that has a healthy ambition, who strives to be the best he could be, to have a passion for what he does and to always remember that power, money and status is not the alpha and omega in our lives. I want to know that my family will be taken care of but not neglected because of any obsession with wealth.

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