Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Weakness within my strength

For those of you who know me, know that when I decide someone is important to me I give them my all, I’m there for them no matter what the situation, I take care of them, support them and pick them up when they fall and fix what is broken. I don’t even have to be asked to help, I’m there and I’m always helping.

Some of you might be thinking this is a good thing and yes to a certain point it probably is a strength, one that I am very proud of most of the time. However, there comes a time when I push too much and too far and it turns into an ugly thing. Most people don’t see it as ugly or as a weakness, but it is, it’s a weakness I struggle with daily and one that ultimately gets me hurt.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being there for the important people in my life, the people who I care about and love, I don’t regret helping them or supporting them through the highs and the lows in their lives. But too often I find myself giving 110% of myself to those around me, even when they don’t want or need me.

Up until recently I didn’t want to see this as a problem, as a weakness, but it has gotten to a point where I was giving too much of myself to those around me, my strength became a weakness, an addiction and it was draining me. The worst part of it all was that I was giving so much of my time and of myself that I forgot to take care of myself in the process.

This is a constant struggle for me to overcome so yes, our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. And hopefully the day will come where I will want to help someone without it always being an addictive desire.

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