Try a Cliché

In life we came across so many clichés, some inspirational, some kind but often also very cruel. We use them when our own words fail us and we need a quick comeback or when we need that perfect saying in the perfect moment.

Money cant buy you love is one of the most genuine clichés there is and speaks such true words. So many of us believe money, more money, is the solution to all our troubles, that money will make us truly happy. But we can’t be more wrong, money doesn’t bring us much, it only ensures we are able to provide food for our families, clothes on our backs and a roof over our heads. If we lucky enough to have a bit more money than we need for the necessary essentials we get to spend it on a few luxury items that bring us temporary happiness and relief.

But what brings us true happiness is love. Love of our parents and siblings who are always there for us, who care for us and stick by us even when we don’t deserve it. The love of our soul mate, that special someone we get to spend the majority of our lives with, create new memories with and who loves us back, even with all our faults. Then we have the love of friends who are true and loyal, who always have our backs and who are there to listen to all our worries and dreams. Love comes in different forms from different people in our lives.

Love is what truly makes us happy, a true happy that lasts forever, it gets us through the dark times and makes the good times even sweeter. Love can’t be bought with money and money can’t buy us happiness.

So find that love in your life and hold on to it because all the money in the world isn’t going to bring you true happiness.

The Anttics of a Feather

So some of you might think I have lost the plot after you read my blog ‘Tribute to Calli’ and yes some of you might be right. But as I said, she wasn’t just a bird that sits in a cage and goes tweet.
So for those of you who are still skeptic I thought I would share some of my favourite pictures of Calli and hopefully I will be able to convert some of you into bird people or at lease people who have an appreciation for birds and understand why some of us are so fanatical about these feathery friends.

Calli spent some weekends with ‘Granny’ when I was on business trips, and oh how she loved those visits. She got to do all sorts of fun stuff like help ‘Granny’ do cross-stitch. She carried cotton around, pulled the needle out and inspected all the stitches to ensure they were all perfect.

‘Granny’ would occasionally send me an sms on how things were going, how Calli was doing. Calli loved a cellphone and even more so when the sms was for me! She would climb onto the phone and push buttons, trying to type a message or add her two cents worth.

And boy oh boy she knew when she was caught being naughty, just look at that attitude and guilty look. How do you punish that face? Like I said, she knew exactly how to wrap you around her little wing and she did it frequently.

When I was home she was always out of her cage, which is a pretty big cage to start with, she spent it playing on her jungle gym or climbing up and down her ladder to the floor. She’d often give me a mild heart attack when she climbed onto my foot or up my pants while I was doing the dishes or cooking. She just loved being with me and we spent most of her time like that.

We became friends, good companions; we had tons of fun and shared some laughter over the funny things she got up to.

She didn’t like her new sister, Skye, but they soon became friends and spent most of their time together. If you ever had the privilege of knowing Calli, you were blessed and you’ve come to have an appreciation for the quality they add to our lives.

Feelings vs Behaviour

Feelings
Feel-ing (noun)
1. the function or the power of perceiving by touch
2. physical sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste or smell
3. a particular sensation of this kind: a feeling of warmth; a feeling of pain
4. the general state of consciousness conseredered independently of particular sensations, thoughts, etc
5. an emotion or emotional perception or attitude: a feeling of joy; a feeling of sorrow
6. capacity for emotion, esp. compassion: to have great feeling for the sufferings of others
7. feelings, sensibilities, susceptibilities: to hurt one’s feelings

Behaviour
Be-hav-iour (noun)
1. manner of behaving or acting
2. Phychology, Animal Behaviour
a. Observable activity in a human or animal
b. The aggregate of responses to internal and external stimuli
c. A stereotyped, species-specific activity, as a courtship dance or startle reflex
3. Often, behaviours, a behaviour pattern
4. the action or reaction of any material under given circumstances: the behaviour of tin under heat

Source:
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary,
© Random House, Inc. 2006


We all go through life filled with feelings, different feelings ranging from anger, anxiety, hurt, joy, love and true happiness. We judge situations by what we call a “gut-feeling”, others call it a sixth sense or a sensation that allows us to summarise a situation and make, what we believe to be, is the right decision.

These feelings give us hope or make us doubt life, but what comes after these feelings is a reaction, something based on what we were feeling or sensing, a behaviour. Feelings guide our behaviours and we should learn to listen to that “gut-feeling”, to the feelings we are feeling.

So many of us hide from these feelings, we bury them because we are afraid of the behaviours they will demand from us. We are afraid of experiencing those feelings that make us vulnerable, that leave us open to hurt and disappointment because we try to protect ourselves. However, by hiding from these feelings we don’t allow ourselves the freedom to react and by hiding we might miss out on experiences that would grow us, bring us joy or change us for the better.

So embrace your feelings, follow your gut and react in such a way that you can look back and be content with your behaviour.

Tribute to Calli

For the past three years I have had someone special share my life, and to some of you it might come as a shock to realize I am talking about my pet cockatiel. Three years ago if you had asked me whether I am a bird person I would have told you “no, birds just sit in a cage and tweet”. But ask me today and my answer would be “most definitely!”

What changed? Not much, except I took the time to get to know one, she was called Sam. She showed me that there was more to birds than them sitting in a cage going tweet.

It took me seven months, but I made the decision to convert to being a bird person. I went to a breeder, a friend of a friend, I stood in front of the cage with half a dozen baby birds in it, faced with the difficult task of choosing the “right” bird. None of them would come to me, except for one little bird. She was a mix between the yellow and grey breeds which made this beautiful ‘design’. I’m convinced she chose me and I believe our paths were meant to cross.

I took her home, all nervous, ready to take on this new challenge of hand rearing my first bird. Calli and I had a rough start, I wasn’t sure what I was doing but I did know I had a purpose, someone that needed me, who I could care for and love. It was a time in my life where there were more dark days than bright days. Calli chose me, but she also saved me.

Yes I can see you skeptics frowning at that statement, but very few will ever know what that little feathery friend meant to me, what she brought to my life. Until you have one of your own you won’t know what I am talking about and you don’t get to judge until you try it.

Cockatiels, especially hand reared ones, are known for being very lovable birds who seek personal attention, who have such huge personalities you can’t help but just want to squeeze them.

Living on my own it was a joy coming home to someone waiting for you, she got so excited to hear my car it made me smile how such a small body could make so much noise. But as soon as I had opened her cage so she could play on her jungle gym she would calm down, talk (in bird language) and play. Calli enjoyed spending most of her time sitting on my shoulder or nestled under my chin sleeping.

She wasn’t just a bird, she was a companion who gave me much joy and peace. She was a real character with a huge personality and believe me she knew exactly how to wrap me around her little wing. We had an understanding between us, a bond that no one else understood.

Yes to you she might just have been a bird, but to me she was my friend, my companion, my ‘daughter’ whom I loved very dearly. She wasn’t just a bird, and I resent anyone who says otherwise. If you’ve hand reared a cockatiel and spent enough time with them you know exactly what I’m referring to, you know what love I am talking about and you know what personalities these little creatures have.

Calli unfortunately passed away recently and very unexpectedly. It broke my heart to have her die in my hands after being very sick. It was horrible to sit there and not being able to do anything for her, but it comforts me to know she wasn’t alone. I miss her terribly and will always be very grateful for the three years we had together for she taught me so much! She wasn’t just a bird who sat in a cage and went tweet-tweet, she was so much more…

It is Better to Practice a Little than Talk a Lot

We all have that one annoying friend or acquaintance in our lives that likes the sound of their own voice, who enjoys arguing a point just for the sake of arguing. They seem to think they know everything and that they are always right. What they don’t realize is that by talking a lot no one is truly listening, that they are crying wolf and the day will come where they truly need someone to listen and no one will be left.

We all have those friends or colleagues in our lives that are quite observers, who say very little. These are the people to watch cause when they feel the urge to say something you know it is going to be profound and worth listening too. These are the people who observe a situation, gather information, think carefully and then speak only when what they have to say is of any worth to anyone else.

There is a lesson to be learnt by following such individuals, those who talk a little and do a lot. They are the ones who are genuine, who are sincere, who are the thinkers and doers. They are the ones you want on your team for they are great players.

So before spitting out what is on your mind, before you decide you just have to put your 2c worth in there, stop, take a breath and think first. If you are still convinced that your 2c is more of a golden nugget, then share it with whoever will listen.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

We all go through life with those little white lies we tell ourselves, some of them are small and some are bigger lies. But in essence the lies we tell ourselves are the worst kind, whether they are small or big, they can potentially cause us stress and anxiety or even a false sense of something.

Some of us lie to ourselves about who we are by allowing ourselves to change so we fit in with a particular crowd. We fear being alone or rejected so instead we try to protect and change ourselves by lying about who we are.

Others lie about their opinions, what they like or don’t like. Instead of standing up for what they believe they decide to keep quiet to avoid being judged. Who cares if you don’t like their kind of music, who cares if you think expensive clothing is a waste of money, who cares if you prefer spending time with family then going out drinking?

We find people lying to themselves about more serious things like the way they look. They tell themselves they are too fat, too skinny, too short or too tall when in fact they are just perfect in so many other ways. Those lies make us eat more, eat less, wear shoes that damage our feet to look taller or cause us to sacrifice a good posture to create the illusion of being shorter.

Some people even lie to themselves about how they are feeling, causing themselves to be sick, to feel ill which means they don’t go to work, other people get tired of hearing about their ailments and in turn just causes them to be seen as hypochondriacs. So when they day comes they truly are sick there is no one around who bothers to care.

There is no benefit in lying to ourselves, it just makes facing the truth even harder and we loose our true selves. So embrace who you are, what you like or dislike, how you look and what you are feeling and just go out there and be an honest you.

Cautious vs Risky

Some of us live a cautious life and some of us live on the edge. There is nothing wrong with either of these, unless we take it to the extreme.

Those of you who know me, in a personal setting, will know all too well that I have lived a seemingly cautious life. I’ve always steered clear of that challenge that would push me just a little too far outside my comfort zone, always wondering about the ‘what ifs’, what others will think and is it save.

It is seldom that I just let my hair down without weighing up the possible consequences, but there are those times, rare I know, but there are those brief moments some of you have been lucky enough to see. Those moments where I just let my guard down and have fun, where I am a spontaneous queen with some tricks up my sleeve, those moments where I forget about who might be around watching. But for those of you, who have not seen that side of me, know me to be the cautious one, sometimes even too cautious.

Most of the time I don’t mind being the cautious one, being teased for being the planner or the mother hen, but just sometimes I wish I felt safe enough to just let go. To have someone else worry about the consequences, deal with the fall-out; ensure everyone stays save, that everyone is happy. For once I would like to be the one who is reckless, even if just for one night. Don’t get me wrong, by reckless I don’t mean doing something illegal or dangerous, just clean, flirty, risky fun with friends I love and trust.

So this year I have decided that I am a young, single woman and I should be out there doing all the things I dream about doing instead of putting them on a bucket list for a rainy day. I’ve ‘sacrificed’ three years getting my Diploma, five years growing in my career while spending two years finishing my Degree. I’ve reached my first milestone, my five year goal, now before I determine the next one I have decided to spend some time developing my life outside of work. Work will stay a priority but it won’t be my sole priority. I’m taking time out to find my own priorities while I still have the time and energy to do so.

I’m pushing those boundaries, seeing how far I can go, what I can achieve on a personal level. I’m planning my first trip abroad, I’m making plans to see our own country, I’m venturing out on my own, no longer afraid of being "alone", I’m having fun and I’m throwing some of that caution to the wind. I’m doing things for myself, putting myself ahead for the first time, I’m exploring the part of myself I have kept hidden from the world.

I’m having fun as I discover new things I like, new things I want to try, new places to go and meeting new people along the way.

So look out world, here I come and you better be ready.